SISTER MARY CHARDONNAY is my sacred yet profane alter ego who swears like a sailor then tweets about what color the vestments were at Mass on Sunday. Sister Mary Chardonnay attended Catholic school for twelve years–an all-girls’ school for the high school part. The school, also attended by my mother and her sister, is no longer open having fallen victim to the shrinking enrollment in Catholic schools in the (not quite affluent sections of) Archdiocese of Philadelphia. The school I proudly attended was Notre Dame High School for Girls in Moylan, PA. The last graduating class was in 1981. I graduated before then, LOL.