Giving vs. Receiving

The holiday season is upon us once again.  Hearing “I can’t believe next week is Thanksgiving” has become as routine as “Is it hot enough for ya?”  As I wrote last year, the holiday season was different from any other I’d experienced in my adult life — very emotional, and special nonetheless.

Over the weekend I was part of a conversation about whether it’s better to give than to receive and I thought I’d share some of those thoughts here.

Is it better to give than to receive?

Of course!

Why is it better to give than to receive?

This is a deep question and by that I mean that it can be answered from a number of different perspectives….spiritual, health, overall happiness, etc.  

So I repeat:  Why is it better to give than to receive?

Because Jesus said so.  And for some of us that’s all we need, right?  But seriously, that doesn’t make for a robust discussion on this topic so just to clarify what He actually said–

In Acts 20:35 Jesus said:  “In everything I showed you that by working hard in this manner you must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, that He Himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.”

Then the question becomes this “Is being more blessed better than receiving, receiving what?  Let’s just say better than receiving anything at all.

Blessed adjective [bles-id; or blest] – the definition in this context is something like…..

divinely or supremely favored; fortunate, blissfully happy or contented; bringing happiness and thankfulness

As for me, I would prefer to be blissfully happy by giving than to be pleased with something I received. But this opens up another whole subject and that is GRATITUDE because when we RECEIVE something we sorely need there is a certain feeling about that as well….that’s where the bringing happiness and thankfulness comes in.

So in essence, it’s better (because it’s more blessed) to be blissfully happy or contented from being the giver than to experience happiness and thankfulness from receiving?  I’m only further convincing myself that yes it IS better to give than to receive.

But seriously, enough about Jesus, WHY?

It’s better to give than to receive because giving builds social connections and strengthens existing ones. There are many things written about giving, as in of oneself by volunteering, being healthy–and that gets into some deeper study and findings, (told ya this was a deep one) but to keep it simple, I like the following…

The Dalai Lama observes that happiness does not come from material things but rather from a deep, genuine concern for others’ happiness. In fact, the Dalai Lama contends that focusing on one’s own needs instead of others’ results in negative emotions that prevent true and lasting happiness for the self.

I agree with the Dalai Lama!

Are you happier when you give or when you receive?



Can’t Give It Away

On Following Up

For those of you who are salespeople, marketers, networkers –anyone trying to get others interested in what you’re selling or promoting or maybe a charity you’re supporting you know about the need to make contact and then follow up.  Many have written on this topic and it’s not my attention here to add to that body of work here but you know me, I like to share my experiences.

What I Was Giving Away

Food.  Not a free lunch, a free dinner.  My family’s been getting Hello Fresh for 3 weeks now and had the opportunity to give away a free meal to 4 friends so they could try it.  The names and email addresses were submitted at the start of this week and as of the end of the week no one had claimed their meal.

And the Point Is

No the point isn’t that I have a bunch of ungrateful, unappreciative friends.  Actually, it turns out that they probably never got the email.  The point is that it just made me think that we’re all so busy that often we don’t get to the things that we’re actually interested in and wanting to do.  Think about how many things pass before your eyes or through your fingers that you mean to address at the next possible opportunity–and never get around to it.

What I’m Trying To Say

My point is to suggest that many of us (me included and I remind myself often) need to take periodic time outs to breathe.  And then after we breathe we can take just 15 minutes and get one or more little things that we’ve been meaning to attend to, take care of, clear out, drop off, put in the mail–DONE.  How many of those things do you have hanging around?  What would it feel like to get one or more checked off this list?  I know I feel a little bit liberated, a bit more unencumbered, back in charge.

Back to the Sales Reference

The initial connection I made about this was that often we who are selling, promoting, soliciting have to talk ourselves into following up because we don’t want to appear pushy or imposing.  My point is that the threshold for being pushing or imposing on others is often much higher than we’re imagining or, in my own case, overthinking it.

I guess it all comes back to the concept of being present, being in the moment and just reaching out to follow up, getting a few little things done, or simply giving away a little kindness each day.

What are your thoughts?  I’d love to hear from you, even if you’re just curious about our Hello Fresh experience!

And for those who enjoy a musical association with a topic I give you the RHCP

Today is the First Day

Have you thought lately about where your life’s going? How’s that looking for you? Haven’t thought about it? Here’s something to get you started….

What is this thing called L….I…..F……E?

Sometimes it’s fun to do a word association by making note of anything that pops into your head with a particular word or version of a particular word.  Like this–

Get a life!

Live your life!

You only get 1 life to live!

Change your life!

Reform your life!

Transform your life!

Save a life!

Give the gift of life!

Life begins at conception.

What Does It Mean?

And then you ask yourself, “What does it all mean, this thing called life? Can I really make a difference in anyone’s life?  in my own life?  Why am I not doing it?  Am I afraid to try?  What am I really afraid of?  What’s my true life purpose?  Wait, I hear a tiny voice that’s getting louder and LOUDER, and it’s saying,

“Look for the answer WITHIN yourself!”

Just Keep Swimming!

Wow–I’ve been scared, frightened to death really–positively CLUELESS abut why I haven’t been doing  the things I KNOW I NEED to get where I want to go.  Anyone else feel that way?  Now or in the past?  It scares you even more when you get as far as realizing you’re in the grip of something but you haven’t yet identified it.

What is this something?  Is it depression?  Mid-life crisis? An epiphany in the making?

What I think is that it’s a mixture of these and other things that’s unique to each person experiencing it.  So what happens on breakthrough day?  Does it suddenly become easier?

No, it doesn’t.  It’s not like that; not like flipping a switch.  What it does mean is that you’ve been pushing further each day and you’ve finally taken yourself just far enough out of “it” to find firm footing on THE OTHER SIDE OF IT. So now what?

Here’s What

  1. Believe all the good stuff–the positive affirmations, motivational speeches, guided meditations, all of it!
  2. Believe in YOURSELF!

  3. Go For It!


  5. Yes, you DO!

Won’t you please leave some comments to let us all know where you are and how it’s all turning out?




New Business/New Website

Have a minute?  If so, I invite you to check out the recently launched website for my new small business advisory & management consulting business called C Sweet Solutions.

This has all been a while in the making and I’ve been devoting time I didn’t even know I had to getting things started, attending a certification training, networking my brains out (what little there was left if now positively gone), and trying to track it all to be sure I’m moving in the right direction.

That’s right – and my various nannies, housekeepers, personal chefs, chauffeurs, laundresses, and personal assistants have been keeping me and my family and the household together…..NOT!

Hobbies?  Who has time for hobbies?

Blogging?  Who has time for blogging?

Bathing? Who has time….just kidding there – always time for a quick shower – personal hygiene is SACRED!

Please leave me a comment and let me know if you’re interested in hearing more about the launch of C Sweet Solutions here on my personal blog and if you’re interested from a business standpoint, I will be blogging eventually over on the company website as well.

As always your general comments and observations are much appreciated too!

Bye for now,



Anxiety and me…and some help…. — HarsH ReaLiTy

Originally posted on toni1964blog: A few months ago I was posting about my anxiety as usual and mentioned a book I read that I carried around for years. I still carry it, I just couldn’t find it because we moved and everything was such a mess. I found it finally and it has been…

via Anxiety and me…and some help…. — HarsH ReaLiTy

7 Things My Mom Told Me

that I’m so glad I listened to…

It’s been 4 months since my last post…I might as well consider myself (and this blog) extinct like the dinosaurs, right?  But that’s not my style…okay it’s my style to go off radar but it’s also my style to reappear with no notice whatsoever and guess what?

I’m Baaaaaack….

No, I’m not back from rehab, Sillies, I’m back here on “Coming at you Live from the C-Sweet” to let you know I’m still alive and kicking and what I’ve been up to over the last 4 months.

The main thing is that I did go away (no, NOT to rehab!) to a small business advisory certification training and I’ve officially launched my new consulting practice “C Sweet Solutions”….Solutions for the C-Suite.  So I’ve spent the rest of the time getting busy networking, prospecting, doing business development type stuff and all the rest.

Right now I’m co-branding my services with the organization that sponsored by training and certification…until I work up to a new website for C Sweet Solutions.

But that business talk isn’t way you find me so entertaining and followed this blog, etc. so of course I have something else to tell you about, and that is…

I was thinking about my relationship with my loving mother and how I think I accepted the fact that she was (generally) always right about stuff she told me growing up and so I decided to tell you about some of the things my mom told me that I’m glad I took to heart.  I apologize to my male followers in advance if some of this is too much information or ally irrelevant, but on the other hand, you might learn something….your choice about whether to bail here or not…

Here goes:

  1. Give it 24 hours before responding to deciding something that’s controversial in your life or that makes you upset or mad, etc.  First know that I am impatient, impulsive, have a rapier sharp tongue and I’m not afraid to use it….so this one was hard to swallow at first but the first time I consciously pulled back from my knee-jerk response and waited, I was so happy with the result that the lesson stuck after that first time…mostly it did so I wait the 24 hours most of the time….the rest of the time I wait maybe not as long as overnight, and a much smaller fraction of the time I just let loose….
  2.  Things often change in ways that you never imagined or anticipated so hang in there.  This sounds a bit like 1 and is definitely related.  My example there had to do with something at work and it wasn’t even a situation I was sweating – it was more like shortly after Mom said it to me someone at my current job, who I was SURE was a lifer there, quit to take another job.  BAM I never saw that one coming!
  3. If someone’s totally on your ass about something stupid just go with the flow while they’re telling you about it then proceed as you would have had they not tried to get you do to stupid shit their stupid way.  Works like a charm…totally short-circuits their having braced for you to put up a big fight and more than likely they forget about it and leave you the hell alone.  This one came up when Mom was describing an actual work scenario of hers.  Being the hard-headed young woman I was back then I couldn’t imagine even pretending to swallow some idiot’s bullshit but over time I came around to Mom’s way of thinking.
  4.  Okay, here’s where I might lose the guys….My mother always harped on me to hold my stomach in because it gives you a much better profile and it trains those young tummy muscles to stay taut….yeah, I know that stuff can go way overboard with young girls and body image and the whole thing but I’ve seen myself in pictures, back then and 20 years later, and yeah well let’s just say it’s good to train those tummy muscles from early on and hold your stomach in…more to the point…develop the good posture habit.  I once had someone approach me in McDonald’s and ask if I was a dancer…he was referring to the way I was standing and carrying myself….at least that’s what I thought at the time.  Who knows, maybe he thought he’d seen me performing at a strip club?  Years of being body conscious as a cheerleader — go ahead and scoff, I’m proud of the fact that I was a rah-rah…it was a total blast, especially in college!– and then years of yoga practice trained me to stand tall and keep my shoulders back.  ‘Nuff said there.
  5. “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”  Right out of her mouth and needing no explanation.
  6. “There are no ugly people” Ok, well we all know that’s not exactly true and I’m not talking about the people who are not the nicest to look at, I’m talking about the ones, often very nice to look at, who have no values, no morals, no soul and no conscience.  But Mom was really talking about physical appearance and teaching that whole don’t judge a book by it’s cover thing, and to be kind, and about not being shallow, etc.  I got it.
  7. Finally, for those of you who’ve hung in this long, you may be sorry you did…the last thing my mother told me that I’m so happy I listened to WAS….ALWAYS WEAR AN UNDERWIRE BRA TO STAVE OFF SAGGY BOOBS AS LONG AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE (WITHOUT SURGERY).  I added the part in parentheses of course but have had no surgery on that particular body part and wear my underwire religiously, even to bed, yes even to bed….and all I can say is I’M SO GLAD I DID!


Looking forward to reconnecting!!!!!  xoxoxoxo  cj aka The C-Sweet ❤


Abstractions – More New Paintings

Lots of balls in the air but progress being made!!

Original Artwork at Affordable Prices

Still busy painting (and not writing much), still refining my photography technique for listing photos, still planning to pull everything together on my art website but I’ve managed to list a number of new paintings recently in my Etsy Shop:  TheCSweetShoppe


If You Love the Design But Not For Your Wall

One of the next thing I’ll be doing is making some of the paintings available as framed art prints , throw pillows, greeting cards, cell phone cases, and more on The C-Sweet on Society6

For example:


I feel as though I’m walking down the road while spinning plates on a stick and it’s really slow going but progress is being made!

****Featured image from Plate Spinning Dog