This isn’t a really uplifting topic but I promised a while ago that I’d write on this prompt from a friend. He’s a really wise friend. He said that people will lie to you because they’re afraid of how you’ll react if they tell you the truth. Mostly this is self-preservation – they’re afraid you’ll get angry with them, be disappointed in them, go postal on them, retaliate against them, stop speaking to them, withhold something from them…..it’s mostly about them, see it’s not about you. The hard part is, it gets progressively more difficult to avoid taking it personally the more important the person is to you and the more critical the subject they’re lying about.
What I want to do is take this a step or two further. See, I’ve had the experience of being lied to by someone who actually believed the lie and the way this happens is that certain people refuse to be honest with themselves. And it goes right back to the fear theory – they’re afraid to face some truth about themselves, their motives or the situations they create around them.
That’s what I wanted to say about people who lie. As painful as it is to accept that someone important to you lies to you; you have to also pity them for the damage they do by lying to themselves. They’ve stuffed their demons into a box that they keep tightly locked up and hidden away. They exist by keeping one step ahead of the demons but inventing stories that make them feel better about themselves.
People lie to get what they want….tying that back to the fear – the fear that you won’t like them if you knew the truth and especially, fear they won’t get what they want from you if they tell you the truth….it’s all about the fear.
If they only know what I know…..”and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.” John 8:32