Out of the Fog Comes a Couple of Ideas

Every night as soon as my head hits the pillow I’m aware that my shoulders are clenched and I try to relax them.  This goes on throughout the night and there are days, like today, when it’s nearly impossible for me to wake up the next morning.  So I sleep in a big, lament the late start and all I have to do or could be doing and I pass the day in a semi-fog so that toward the end of the day I can think about all of the fun stuff I could have been doing all day.  Then I sigh and continue to sit at my computer playing around so that my mind goes blank and I can maybe hear myself think.  This is what it’s like to have ADD and several overwhelming personal situations going on at the same time.

The kids interrupt my trance-like state often but I wouldn’t trade this summer at home with them for anything.  We’ve bonded – especially me & Kate – who has learned so much about how to be helpful around the house.  She and her brother have gotten along extremely well and I try to plan fun stuff to do with them as a treat for being such good kids.

In thinking about this earlier today I had an idea about when the kids interrupt me when I’m trying hard to focus on something else – and that is to ask them to write their thought on my new whiteboard so that we can talk about it a little later.  Coming up with this simple idea actually made me feel quite a bit better on a not-so-great day.  Another thought I had re: getting overwhelmed before I even get out of bed….Block out everything except getting up, exercising for at least 20 mins, showering, having some tea – and then on to the next thing.

When I jump to thinking about all I have going on or should have going on it freezes me in place and I don’t want to move.  I also read an article online today about people who are extremely sensitive (to light, to sound, to smells, etc.) and ADD and technically they’re supposed to be opposites but it’s possible to be overly sensitive to things and have ADD in which case your senses are easily overwhelmed and you don’t know what the hell to do next…..I learned this about myself a long time ago when I realized the difference in myself between coming home to a quiet empty house and coming home to a noisy house with all lights on, TV going, dogs jumping around, kids talking excitedly.  It’s different if I’m right there and all of that activity builds up around me but man when I walk into it – especially with every light in the house on, etc. – I want to run and hide.  Anyone else ever experience this??



  1. I do not, for good or ill, have the cacophony of activity that you get to experience, but I have felt your description of shoulders up near the ears,
    or other physical signs of stress, and I am TOTALLY there when you talk about thinking about all I need to do, should do, dread doing, etc. That generally starts with me at 0500, and lasts until I drag my sorry ass out of bed at 0600 or later. I am trying to exercise more, and dancing totally takes me out of my head, which is great…but the getting there is tough, and about to get tougher (teaching). A fellow I know – well, have “met” online, but talk to – who happens to be Miles Davis’ young brother – shares with me the “we eat what we kill” lifestyle (he’s also an attorney), with no other support. It gets very stressful, but then, too – I get to design my life.
    I LOVE reading your blog! And I love your kids. Where’s Alex this summer?


    • I feel sorry for anyone who totally understands my shoulders up to the ears description of being totally stressed out. Thank you so much for following and reading and for loving my kiddos – they are great, I cannot deny! The other one is at her mother’s and that is where she will be staying forever and ever. Because of her bad and unacceptable behavior she cannot live here during the coming school year. In fact, she will not be visiting here either. Sad but true.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.